So I went to bed at 6pm Lithuania time last night. Waking up every once in a while, convincing myself I need to sleep until it's at least light out. I wake up around 5, stay in bed.. because I don't know what else to do with myself at 5. Finally I got up and took my laptop and phone downstairs where I could get wifi. Do some facebooking, texting, etc. By the way while all of this is going on I'm fairly weepy, missing home, wondering why I am doing this again, you know all the questions most people ask themselves when they move to a new country. When I was done with my computer I decided to walk to the store (thank God I didn't get lost). I walk to the store and get some granola and yogurt. (I am supposed to be gluten free.. and there is no gluten free here.) After checking out I start walking back to school. It's rainy. I'm weepy. I was feeling really down. As I stand at a crosswalk to cross this bus comes by, drives through a puddle, and drenches me from head to toe. Literally, a scene from the movies.
I've had a few classes already today. I don't know if I will remember any of the information presented in them.. I'm feeling down. Wish I could've just stayed put for once.
Until next time..
Sweet Paigey,
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you for taking the step from one stone to the next. It would be easy to stay put where you feel comfortable. That's what most people do... and I have never known you to be "most people". You are and have always been exceptional. The first step is always the hardest step. It's where most regret and doubt flood your mind. But often times in life, when you decided to stand or even move toward your fear, even when your initial reaction is to run away as quickly as possible... it is these times where true life happens. You are courageous and ambitious and adventurous. All things I love about you.
As I, and many others, read this blog and see that our Paigey is sad and in desperate need of a hug... my initial reaction is to want to fly over there, repack your bags and bring you home. But I trust in your heavenly father who cares for your and is with you with every breath. And who am I to rescue you from one of your best adventures in life? And besides, you are a Johnson... I could wash my face and hop on the next plane, flag down a taxi, run up to your room, bust open the door like a hero only to realize, you would say, "that was so yesterday..." Lithuania has know idea yet, what a gem they have in you. We will let Eastern Europe have the amazing blessing of you for 6 months.
Take some deep rejuvenating breaths and know that there are so many people who are loving you and praying for you.
The Evans' miss your laughter and your smile... it lights up the world. So until you decide to smile... Lithuania might just keep raining...
I love you dearly Paigey poo and I am sending over a great big hug and Skylar and Summer are following it up with a dog pile... then when we are all smashed in a heap...Skylar's fingers will start to tickle you, as you respond with empty threats of "you better not tickle me!!" Summer will join in, and bc you love it so much and can't stand it... you kick us all off into the air like bean bags and we laugh till we almost pee our pants. Then Summer admits that she needs to go to the bathroom bc she kinda did.
You are awesome Paigey and I love you. Take it slow, it's your 1st day. You totally got this.
Smile and meet someone new. Sending you my love.
And if you see the bus driver... I want to say that I am going to kick his ass for what he did to you... but bc I know that prankster that you are, I want to kinda high 5 him instead. Just saying...
Right now sucks, but when you look back, I think you'll be grateful that you did this. Whenever I would get homesick, I would look for 10 things that I was grateful for in that specific moment, sometimes it helped...sometimes not...
ReplyDeleteBIG BIG hugs!
thanks for the encouragement guys. today is a new day, i've taken quite a few deep breaths, and I am ready to start fresh. (notice this is after the pep talk from my mom on the phone haha).
ReplyDeletei'll let you know how it goes ;]
paige! I just saw that you have a blog. :) I feel for you! dude, when I was just a wee little girl long long ago... it was cold and snowy, snow everywhere in a town that doesn't get hardly any snow that sticks to the road. I got dropped off at my school by my dad, (becuz the bus couldn't get to our house. -and this was before dev and day were in school and dust was just a baby) he drove off before I got to the door. no biggie, I've been to school a many a times... much to my surprise the door was locked, and so were the back doors! there I was at school trying to think of what to do. this was also before the cell phone era. luckily I remembered of a friend that lived about a mile or 2 away from the school. and well...lets just say I had a picture perfect movie scene too. wasn't fun, but it wasn't a bus, it was a big car like a suv of some sort. man...not fun. totally feel for your movie scene! hope things get better!
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